I feel good.
I wrote and wrote today and I figured out an ending! I’d written a story earlier this year but knew the ending wasn’t quite right, though it wasn’t clear to me what would have been. (Now I know!)
Had the Wiscon deadline today (well, now it was technically yesterday) nipping at my heels, and while I worked on that story the ending made itself apparent to me. It flowed out my fingers and onto the screen (typo had it “flower” out of me… which I kind of like). I read the story, the ending, and smiled. And typed a couple more words, because I knew then what would really, really tie it together. And it did. It folded itself in while unfurling into possibility – the paradox of a good ending.
Tonight I am a successful writer.
When I feel unsure of my accomplishments I revisit Emerson: “To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch… to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”
As an artist-writer who works hard to create a true poem, works hard to craft the good story, those things only I can see and tell and share… this quote of Emerson’s reminds me that I am succeeding, even if I struggle to get there (and who’s to say that isn’t part of it); it reminds me that struggling with my stories (and perhaps myself) and creating beauty and sharing it with others, that these are worthwhile endeavors.